“Keep Your Hands off Us!”

“Hey, Breakfast is ready!”
“Coming! Give me a minute to freshen up”
At the kitchen table the family is waiting for you to take your seat. You know, there is the customary prayer and you’re assured no one dares to take even half a bite until you’re firmly in your seat.
“So, let’s see what we have today for breakfast. Scrambled eggs! My favorite, and how tempting they are! You might have seen some new ways of cooking this stuff. ”
Just as everyone had there forks ready for the breakfast D-day, revelation!
“Wait! Wait! Who made the scrambled eggs?
“I did. You were just thanking me for the presentation.”
“It’s not about the presentation. Anyone would kill for such a dish! But, did they call you or sent you an email giving you the green light?”
“What in the world are you talking about?”
“Don’t tell me no one told you!
“Tell me what?”
“Before preparing every meal you have to wait for the orders to come on what you can cook and what you can’t for that day?”
“Are you on hangover or something? Does anyone understand what he’s saying?”
“He is saying that we’ve been denied to do what we like. The ferenjis should approve everything first.”
“That’s my girl! You have to wait for the orders.”
“Orders from where?”
“From Washington, London, Brussels or whichever clan thinks of throwing an order or two our way!”
Hmmm…
Look, we’re not being paranoid; we’re not trying to be melodramatic: we’re not trying to write the next ‘Aliens vs something’ script. Things are becoming so bizarre we’re fast casting off our many ‘nicer’ misconceptions about the world and is its players form our abused shoulders, abused by ourselves.  
“Starting tomorrow the color of your bed sheets and those of your whole family should be blue and blue only.” 
“Why?”
“Because we said so.”
“What if I don’t?
“Then we’ll force all supermarkets, and all the business people not to sell you anything.”
“How could you do that? My family will starve!”
Smiles all over! Big, Frankenstein-like smiles.
“Isn’t that what the whole idea!”
How arrogant could people be! How arrogant can groups be! Look, whoever thinks of this world as anything but a convoluted mass of the arrogant, the biased, the war-mongers, the greedy, and, most of all the gold-diggers is in for a bumpy ride ahead. These days with things that shouldn’t have happened happening defies explanations and, many times than not, leaves you speechless; and even lose hope in almost everything. 
But there is one plus in the whole story. It allowed us not to be duped that easily. We used to think the only creature behind the stripes was a zebra. No more, not with so many wild cats roaming the world win zebra skin!!
I’m talking as the guy in the streets who doesn’t give a damn idea about the inner workings of the political, economic, social manipulators and see things as they are. If the stripes are those of a zebra then it’s a zebra! All of a sudden you realize this world isn’t about those with the best medicine to heal its wounds, with the best plans to make it a hunger-free planet, with the best suggestions to really turn the guns into ploughs at last! No! The biggest slice of global politics seems to be in the hands of, who else, the gold diggers.
A sparsely populated watering hall or something close to that. The guy at the bar is busy with his fifth shot of vodka and he seems bored. Not a particularly profitable day for someone who eats his cake writing news stories. Nothing happened that day! You know like a massacre somewhere in central Africa, a suicide bomber blowing up himself and scores of others somewhere in Asia, disturbances somewhere in Latin America which make the news footage look like rehearsal for the next sequel of Diehard with an aging Bruce Willis claiming more lives than the last devastating volcano did, a mass shooter in some US state.
 “Good evening sir; how are you doing?”
Art last some guys to talk to.
“Fine!”
Some small talk over nothing and then the cat’s paws come out of the bag one at tine.

“You know, we always read what you write.” OMG! People who read his stories! After all, the world isn’t as unfair as he thought it was! “And I tell you are one of the few who really know how to write beautifully.”
“Thanks! That’s a big compliment.” The only thing is his editor thinks otherwise! Who cares! He doesn’t write all the checks! Especially those ‘offline!”
“We’ve a proposition.”
Oh God, how come all of a sudden you’re this nice to me! The Wife is not going to believe this. But then I won’t tell her. I have read too many stories of wives who went all the way to get their husbands’ life insurance. No, that’s not the way I want my goodbye to be!
“I’m all ears.”
“We want you to write such and such a story.” Then the details are spread over the counter mixing wit spilled vodka.
“But the facts are not as you say they are. I mean…”
“Are you interested in the blank facts or that ‘green gold’ with George Washington’s picture?
“You should have said earlier. What exactly is in it for me?”
“Name your price; money is no problem.”
“That’s the kind of talk I like to hear. If money is no problem, story is no problem! The champagne is on me!” Go on; drink the whole bar if you can. Just one more thing, “Keep your hands off us!”
I’m sorry to break this to you, guys; but, you are living in a hopelessly weird world!
(A slightly touched up version of an older piece.)